Empowering Your Child with Positive Discipline by Julia Gabriel

by - Wednesday, October 22, 2014

What is your vision for your child 10 years from now? How about 20 years? Or 40 even years from now?

These are the questions that were thrown to us by Ms Julia Gabriel when we were at the 'Empowering your Child with Positive Discipline' workshop.

Franking speaking, I have not thought so far. In 40 years time, I believe the boys will become Daddy and have their own families. I hope by then, they will be loving and caring towards their families. Hopefully, they will not forget this old woman here. For now, I hope they will be happy and healthy.

Do you know that our parenting style has an impact on the nurturing of the child and his future? I want my boys to grow up to be positive persons. That is why I am trying very hard to adopt Positive Parenting. Before you judge me, positive parenting is not all about giving in to every requests that the child makes or not disciplining him when he did something wrong. In fact, a very important aspect of positive parenting is positive discipline. 

Ms Julia Gabriel shared how we can adopt positive discipline to encourage the child to learn and guide them towards self-discipline.

Sadly, positive discipline is not widely used in Singapore. Most parents feel that the traditional way of punishment works better. We are also guilty of using punishment on the boys. After the workshop, we decided that we should change our parenting style.

Here are some instances where we have tried to adopt positive discipline.

1) Baby J climbs onto table and begins dancing happily and dangerously
Previously, we would remove him from the table and say 'No climbing! Come down!'. However, we realise that there is nothing wrong with climbing and this is the toddler's way of exploring. So we set limits on what he can do. In this case, he is free to climb on the sofa and cushions, which is safer.

2) Big J refuses to go to bed
We used to carry him to the bed and demand that he sleeps right now. Now, as we get ready for bedtime, we give him choices as to what he can do for the bedtime routine. For example, 'It is time for bed. Do you want to read a book or brush your teeth first?' Either way, he has to sleep. Getting him involved in the decision making also means that he is taking responsibility of what he is doing.

3) Big J wants to go to the playground
Our usual reply is 'No!'. But he wanted so much to go to the playground that he will do whatever we say. So, instead of saying no, we said 'Yes. We can go to the playground after you finish your dinner quickly.' And he will finish his dinner super fast. See, win-win situation. No feeling of frustrations from anyone.

Back to the workshop, the fantastic folks from Julia Gabriel Centre were busy entertaining our kids while I listen attentively to the workshop.

Story telling to capture their attention

Activities to occupy the kids

A group photo with Ms Julia Gabriel and the other parent bloggers

To learn more about the classes and workshops, check out their webpage here.

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